Uncle Tiffany

Uncle Tiffany
The one who is constantly being harassed by morons

Welcome To Socially Retarded Epic Fail Dating

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Nanaimo, B.C, Canada
For your amusement, a collection of morons who harass me. I leave my account up solely for laughing at the socially retarded psychopaths who I seem to be a magnet for. Feel free to add your own fail as well!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

October 10, 2010: Purple Winter (YET AGAIN!)

PurpleWinter: why is it so warm in your place?

Me: Ummm what place?

PurpleWinter:  your place.....

Me:   Uh my house? And how the hell would you know?

PurpleWinter: im joking, jeez i dropped by earlier and had a glass of juice.

Me: Who the fuck is this?

PurpleWinter: i am you. How do i show you. Deep down, if you look deep enough you have feelings locked away. Feelings of insecurity and failure. You cover them up with the fabrics of life, but still they linger.... You hide them well enough family and friends dont have a clue, that sometimes you think of self destruction, self liberation, self divenment.

Me:  WTF am I getting so many fucking creepy retarded messages on here today. You better hope you weren't in my fucking house.

PurpleWinter:  i wasnt in your house, i can still see you from here

Me: Do I need to call the god damn cops or some shit? This is awkward as fuck.

PurpleWinter:  im joking im not in or around your place, im just ****ing with you

Me: Well I'm getting a bit sick of all the morons on this site fucking with me today.

PurpleWinter:   its because your probably the most laid back person on here, so guys cut loose, they wanna flirt with you how they would flirt

Me:  Ya except some psychopath mouthing me off and about 496389 retards being judgmental assgoles calling me stuck up and sn attention whore just cos they can't get me and I'm pretty.

PurpleWinter: dont worry hun. You are really pretty and so unique! Guys cant get you because you werent meant to be with them. You were made to be like that. I hope you dont feel bad!! You need to not give up and some cute guy will happen to you

Me: I'm taken I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months.

PurpleWinter: ohh? such a lucky guy, he prolly just loves to hold you. To kiss your ear.. to make sweet passionate love to you. I bet he cant live without your being near him.

Me: Yep he really does love me alot he's great.

PurpleWinter: mmm sounds so good. Maybe in the future you will be tken wildly by another mate. Out of pure animal instinct, just making hot love time all over the drapes.

Me: Pretty sure I don't want anyone else ever.

PurpleWinter: uncletiffany you had me at hello, im am leaving you for another women now. Your cold hard emotionless being has left me undersexed and sultry.

Me: Ooook then.

PurpleWinter:  god your so sexy. Fine i know your bf story is a coverup, i know you and me are cut from the same cloth. You can fool me but tell your tale to all the little boys who try to take you home, which i havent tried to do. When i do try to take you home with me youll know, i could post a pic but you would become overwhelmed. Sweety be my sexy girl.

Me: Uhhh whatever helps you sleep at night.

PurpleWinter:  ill get you

Me:   I'll get a restraining order?

PurpleWinter:  no like ill make you love me

Me: No you won't. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

PurpleWinter: why, anything is possible you could fall in love with me at anytime. Believe me, your not in control... love is in control if you rescue me, ill be your friend foreverlet me in, your bed ill keep you warm in winter. All the kitties are playing and there having such fun, I wish it could happen to me.

Me: Are you on fucking crack?

PurpleWinter: i am high

Me: Good. Go away.

PurpleWinter:  its my night off. on my nights off i usually, kick back throw on some belvadier lounge music, and smoke some mary j SWEET sweet mary.

Me: That's nice. I'm done now. Find someone else to harass.

PurpleWinter: ok i take it your tired of my shot, well take care hun. This is the seventh time weve talked now. remember me hun.

Me:   Ya no shit I'm tired. You're psycho. Ya. I'd rather not remember this incredibly awkward, creepy conversation. Find something better to do than be retarded on the internet.

PurpleWinter: and everytime its just as cold blooded as the last, thats why i kep coming back for more, I love you. Ok talk to you in a few weeks, cya hun bun!! xoxo

Me: Ya no shit. I have no clue who the hell you are. I'm not interested I never will be and I'm very tempted to block your ass.

PurpleWinter: honestly plz dont block me

Me: Then fuck off.

If I don't end up hunting this guy down myself and tying him to the train tracks in time for the morning propane delivery to Vic to run his ass down first then I will keep you posted...

1 comment:

  1. he reminds me of a few guys i've incountered in chatrooms. I used to have a ton of logs of such guys.