Uncle Tiffany

Uncle Tiffany
The one who is constantly being harassed by morons

Welcome To Socially Retarded Epic Fail Dating

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Nanaimo, B.C, Canada
For your amusement, a collection of morons who harass me. I leave my account up solely for laughing at the socially retarded psychopaths who I seem to be a magnet for. Feel free to add your own fail as well!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

October 10, 2010: membrane

Before you read this, you need to see this guy's fucked up train wreck of a profile:


the names matthew...was born in comox, grew up in woss... left the island for the first time to go to japan when i was 17, graduated at carihi in 06, spent a year in calgary, six months in regina, a summer on the island, and the last 3 years i spent on the road, working... no home, no address... in a new place every week... i resently moved back home due to family complacations and touch of home sickness

More about mat-

like all kinds of music... all kinds, except gangsta rap and twangy country... i like many movies, exsept for sappy love stories, i read alot... more than most, but not so much novles as text books... geology, biology, physics, history, phycology, religion, quantuim mechanics ect..... ive read the bible and the koran, ive researched many religions and belief systems... i believe in phycics, astral travle and aleans... however i rarely talk about any of it, simply because 98% of the people i encounter dont care, or dont understand

i am extreamly easy going, pritty much content with everyhing... i have my low points, as does everybody elce... im crazy but im not insain... i enjoy keeping myself occiupied, either with good freinds or famiy... i spent enuf time alone to realize that true happyness is only real when shared... my loved ones mean the world to me... i will do anything, anything for those who i care about... im easy to get along with, people like me... kids like me, and older people think i have a good head on my shoulders, my mother is very proud and allways talks me up to people, aahhah...

What i do---

i am a abortist... in simple terms, i work with trees... i climb them, i cut them... i know alot about trees, every one is diffrent, and each one tells its hole life story to those who know how to read it... i embrace life... i love all animals, and all animals love me... im the kinda guy who can hand feed a wild bird, or ride a wild horse... i grew up in a logging camp... ive spent the majority of my childhood in the woods, mushroom picking, hunting and fishing... i like to spend as much time outdoors as possible... camping, hiking and just hanging out by a fire

My intentions---

i doubt very much i will find what im looking for on here, but i dont hurt to try... im not looking for my one and only... my little princess... im looking for a grown up down to earth mature partner to develop a relationship with... some one who has the strength to stick by my side threw thick and thin... ive been in to many realationships that dident last for someone my age... i loved them all and will never forget them, but our time together is done.... i have yet to meet someone who can prove to me that i will allways mean as much to them as they do to me... my biggest fear is finding someone who i think im going to spend the rest of my life with only to be screwed over years down the road.... one of my good friends was with a girl for 7 years, he took in her and her two kids.. resently she spent the 20 grand in his bank, pawned of 3/4 the stuff in the home and took off to alberta with some guy she met on the internet, leaving her two kids behind.... and this is not an isolated story... i see this happening to many many people... soo dont make me love you now, if you will not love me when im old and rinkled
What can be exspected of me----

i am hardworking, and honest.... i will allways have a steady income and be able to provide... i will never tell a lie, even if the truth will hurt... i will allways be active going places and doing things, i will never get violent, never yell or hit things.... i will allways help those who ask... but i will never take no guff from anybody if i dont think i deserved it... i will stand my ground and defend what i believe in or the ones i care about.. i will one day buy land, and build my own house, i will have kids, and be the father i never had, i will provide the opertunites i was denied, i will allways live my life in a steady state of advancement until the day i take a long walk into the woods to die in peace

i smoke pot, i dont do drugs, i will drink, but not often, and not to get loaded... i will smoke pot until the day i die, and i will never again touch any other drug, and i will never become a alchohalic
Alright, now that you have an understanding of the faggotry I'm dealing with here we shall continue on...

Mebrane: Hahah, you wrote quite a bit about yourself for some one who doesent like to wright about themselves... And you said you liked people who can't spell??? Most people hate people who can't spell... I would say that you are amused by the stupidity of others... Am I right? What did you take in collage? And how come you don't like gordon Campbell... His kid sells some pritty kick ass weed... Ahahha... The wonders of polotics eh? In case you are wondering why I sent a message to you, is that I felt like a good conversation and making a new friend that I will never actually meet... Hello I am mat

Me:  Ya well boredom will do that to you. I font recall saying anything about liking people who can't spell or form proper sentences. If I weren't amused by the stupidity of others I wouldn't be on this site and I wouldn't have written it on my profile. I took the HCA course and do I really need to explain why I hate Campbell? Because I honestly don't have the patience to write out a giant list.

Membrane:   Yeah boredom sux... What is HCA? And you need not explain why you hate a polotition... Everybody hates polotitions for many reasons... So what's the funniest (stupidest) thing you have seen on this site thus far? Must be worth is for you to keep coming back?

(Now after reading his epic huge profile full of the most retarded spelling errors, psycho bullshit and completely off topic stories about such random shit that no one would even want to hear as a first impression, no contest, guess what I said?)

Me: You.

Membrane: For some one who claims not to be a jerk, you have a wierd way of proving it... I guess comon decency and respect for fellow people is a thing of the past eh... Well peace, love and respect... Rest in hell ;)

Me: You're a psychopath. Have fun "aborting" trees in the psych ward. (Because his calls his career working with trees an "abortist")

Membrane: If it where not for people like me, you wouldent have electricity for lights to apply your pritty make up... Or waisting your life away on a computer convincing yourself that your better than the rest of the people around you... You must have a really fulfilling happy life... I can tell your a person who is really going to go far in life... Your definatly not as cool as I thought you would be... Sad, pathetic and begging for attention... I'm glad we got this straitened out And for your information, I know more about trees than you know about yourself, I love trees more than your mother loves you...

Me: Hahahaha! You're fucking retarded. I'm on my iPhone shit head. I have gone far in life at least I can spell the name of my career and don't have a dating site to find someone. You make yourself sound like a completely uneducated psycho stalker. You're going to die alone. Maybe you can have sex with your trees though.

Membrane: Well what a coincidence, I'm on my iPhone 4.... And every man dies alone, not every man truly lives... Listen hear ****... I have no problem finding love... I'm smart, good looking, strong, own my own home, own my own truck, I stash 5 grand a year into my RSPs.... I have dated 3 women so far in the year of 2010... Love is easy for me to find... Trust on the other hand is more illlusive than fuuckjng Bigfoot.... I've caught girlfriends stealing, cheeting and lying red handed... I serve no second chances... I got my sh*ttogether better than you think I do... To women like you, men like me are your wet dreams.... I've had enuf stupid bitvhes like you who think your so high and mighty, I've seen them fail and fall time and time again, coming back balling when they realize that they blew it.... You call me a phyco... Well your wrong... I got my head screws on tight, and know what I want out of life, how manny 22 year olds do you know that have rsps, own thier own home, and has a job that makes 72 thousand a year.... It is you who is the phyco ****, you don't even know what you want out of life... Do you even have a job.... You must make your boyfriend a really happy man... It shows you must put out, cause I wouldent put up with your bullishit

Me: Calm down spaz. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me. Now shut the fuck up and go die in a fire.

Membrane:  Hahah, looks like we really hit it off... Wow, feel the fire... You should just dump your boyfriend, and come live in my basement as my slave woman Hahah, this is over, I'm not gonna bother you anymore... It was a nice verbal assault we had, if you wanna rip into me again sum time, send me a message this time next month ;)

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